As a certified sex educator and co-owner of an upscale adult toy store, Amy is passionate about providing honest, accurate information to help people enhance their sexual pleasure and well-being. Ask her anything related to sexuality, and your question may be answered and posted as one of the questions of the week. To learn more about Amy, click here.

 

Ask Amy A Question

Amy asks:

When my boyfriend and I have sex I can only have an orgasm when I am on top of him (this is how is has always been, even with other guys). It seems like I have to have clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. I would love to be able to have an orgasm with him in other positions. I am fully open to the idea of getting some kind of a toy to help out the situation but I would prefer try and do it without first. Are there any positions that you could recommend to me that would increase my chances of having an orgasm without me being on top of him? And if I do end up having to get a toy is there one that you could recommend to me? Thanks so much. [Read Amy's Answer…]

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Taking the Higher Road

by Amy on March 16, 2011

in Amy's Blog

Okay, this time I really am apologizing ;) I realize various parts of my recent post titled “I Caught the Sex-Toy Thief!” may have come across as more of an insensitive rant. My blog has now been revised, and I apologize if I offended anyone. I really am a lover of all people. I’m also completely aware that the term Gypsy once denoted negativity, and while it was intended to describe a modern-day lifestyle/fashion in more of a positive manner, I can see why it may have offended people (here’s a little plug to my Gypsy friend’s blog for an example).

In terms of my comment in the Sentinel regarding his dreadlocks having a correlation to his whereabouts, I realize I am making a huge generalization. And even though this judgment may not have anything to do with sex, as a sex-positive educator I need to work on realizing my judgments and working through them rather than reacting to them.

All I can say is I felt violated. I still feel violated. I’ve been a part of the Santa Cruz community my entire life, and it feels like a slap in the face to watch someone else who claims to be a part of this community steal behind my mother’s back numerous times on camera. And to see my own mom feeling weak and taken-advantage-of only fueled the rage further. We’ve invested so much in this business. It is our creation, our pride and joy, our livelihood, making this a very personal experience for us.

I will admit I even started this blog post with words of anger and resentment, and after an inspirational conversation with a friend, I realized this would not get me anywhere. I needed to take the higher road and let go. I’m still a little hurt and disappointed and will remain more cautious and possibly less trusting. But the anger has to go.

Finally, the last thing I want to do is make generalizations about anyone in the Santa Cruz community. Our tag-line is, “For the Pleasure Inside Us All”, meaning we welcome all clientele, and I stand by that. Just please please please don’t steal from us ;)

xoxo

Amy

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I Caught the Sex Toy Thief!

by Amy on March 9, 2011

in Amy's Blog

Dear Sex-Toy Thief-

Thank you for allowing us to put our oh-so-very obvious VIDEO CAMERAS to a test. Perhaps you thought they were fake, or that we just wouldn’t notice the missing Stainless Steel and Swarovski Crystal Butt Plug, Tenga Masturbation Sleeve, Lelo Alia Rechargeable Vibrator, Ben-Wa Balls, and Crotchless Panties. I will say that you have excellent taste in sex toys, but other than that, you’re probably not the sharpest tool in the shed.

You’ve also helped to make me a more cautious business owner. I feel like I just got corrective eye surgery, because now I’m constantly scanning my retail store with the sharpness of a hawk. And give yourself a pat on the back for being the catalyst for our new security policies. Our employees now have to be more invasive and less trusting. You are also the reason why all of our customers now have to leave their backpacks and shopping bags with us at the counter. They send their love as well.

And thank you for fueling my rage. I “had” to drink a glass of wine to calm my nerves after we had you arrested at the local farmer’s market in broad daylight today. I am generally a lover of all people, but now I feel abused, disrespected, and taken advantage of. I mean, HOW DARE YOU steal from a locally-owned small business? We are the little guys doing good things for the community, and you come in and steal $400 worth of sex toys from us? SHAME. ON. YOU.

Lastly, I feel pity for your lack of logic. I mean, VIDEO CAMERAS, for crying out loud! I was able to make a short movie out of your theft to give to the local authorities. Also, Santa Cruz is a bubble town, and you are pretty distinct looking, so of course I found you 2 days later rocking out in public 3 blocks from our shop. Perhaps consider sticking to playing the accordion at the Farmer’s Market where I had you arrested instead of keeping on with the petty crime biz. Tisk. Tisk.

Love, Amy Baldwin, co-owner of Pure Pleasure

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