A little bird recently informed me that she overheard a few of my customers/fans say my posts are often all the things you wish your partner did (but are too afraid to ask for). This reminded me of an email I got from a customer after attending my Blowjob 101 class last November. He said he came away from the class with 3 things he would love for his wife to incorporate into her oral sex repertoire (eye contact, variety, and asking questions/feedback), but wanted “a diplomatic way of bringing these up without her getting defensive, upset, etc”. And because this seems to be a common experience for many people, I’d like to share my response with you:

“The best way to talk about any problems concerning your sex life with your partner is to do so OUTSIDE of the bedroom (to avoid the vulnerability=> defensive factor). And if  you want to bring up these 3 things, I would do so gradually over time. Perhaps one  morning after you two have already had your playtime the night/morning before,  start up a conversation over bacon and eggs (or whatever it is you’re into) by saying something like, ‘Last night was amazing.  I really loved when you did (enter some sort of praise here). And you know what would really blow my mind, is if you (example of desired action= looked me in the eyes) while you were doing it’.

3 simple sentences using “I” statements can go a looooongggg way

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