As a certified sex educator and co-owner of an upscale adult toy store, Amy is passionate about providing honest, accurate information to help people enhance their sexual pleasure and well-being. Ask her anything related to sexuality, and your question may be answered and posted as one of the questions of the week. To learn more about Amy, click here.

 

Ask Amy A Question

MorePlease! Asks:

I’m a 20-something male that has in the past enjoyed an impressive dexterity in terms of avoiding cumming during penetration with my female partners. About a year ago my performance drastically fell and now I’m dealing with a sort of sexual insecurity in relation to pleasing my partners. The general intensity of my orgasms has fallen as well. I’ve picked up masturbating as often as I can to practice holding back, but I’m not sure what I should be doing. What could have caused this twist in fate? Are there any resources you can suggest? [Read Amy's Answer…]

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Kaia Asks:

As it stands, I don’t get any pleasure from vaginal insertion. During sex, I have to really grind hard on my clitoris in order to feel any real amount of pleasure. This is really discouraging to my boyfriend! Also, When I do stimulate my clitoris, it has got to be really, really rough. If it’s not really hard grinding, it isn’t gonna happen. BUT, when It is “working out” it literally takes 10 seconds, sometimes 30 at the most.

It’s so frustrating! Is there any advice you could give me?
[Read Amy's Answer…]

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Sara Asks:

Do you have any tips for the woman on top position? I’m not too great at it and I don’t know why..Like when I start riding, my man’s dick would slip out..what am I doing wrong?

[Read Amy's Answer…]

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The intention behind this photo is not for you to focus on my beautiful vulva (puppet), but to notice the bandage on my arm. It’s STI/D screening day for little ‘ol me! And I thought I should share this with you as I believe most people tend to get checked out ONLY when they think something is wrong as opposed to taking preventative measures in knowing the status of their health beforehand. In my case, while I do not have any red flags, I’ve made a few life changes – one being that I am recently single – and thought it would be a good idea to check in with my body so I can safely and comfortably share it with new partner/s ;)

Note that the last time I was tested was when my most recent partner and I decided to be monogamous in the beginning of our relationship. We had been practicing the safer side of safer sex by using condoms all the way up until the test results came in. I like to give myself a pat on the back for being so responsible with that one, especially because I find many people are equating committed monogamy with a clean bill of health. And as most of us know but often deny, monogamy does not have the ability to wipe out one’s sexual past, and a person’s word can only go so far.

My point here is this: no matter what your relationship status is, red flags or not, if you have never been tested and are sexually active or have been in the past, or if you are the least bit uncertain about your sexual health, or just want to be that responsible sexual being that can proudly say, “I got tested” and live comfortably in your skin, then why not do it?

With that said, here’s a very relevant Ask Amy question (answered by Lollie) on testing 101:

 

Threedukes Asks:

My question concerns locations, and prices, for getting some good, in-fashion, testing done?

I would like to get tested to ensure that I am disease-free and healthy.  What is a good resource to find centers for that testing, and am I looking at a large expense? Are there centers offering these services for free (ala Planned Parenthood maybe)?  Do I need insurance?
[Read Amy's Answer…]

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PinkLove Asks:

Nowadays my vagina starts burning every time when I use my regular dildo.. why do you think that is? [Read Amy's Answer…]

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Getting Smooth Asks:

I want to talk hair removal! I have been shaving the ole’ Twig and berries for some time now and have recently found a need to make my back door just as smooth. However after shaving the back yard it area become quite irritated… :-/ Remembering back to the good old days I used to rash up something fierce when first started shaving my man bits. So here’s my question (finally): what in your infinite wisdom is the best way to remove hair around your anus and cheeks at home? I prefer a home method as I don’t really want to pony up the $80 something for the full back door treatment at the spot I’m told is the only place to go by my female friends for a waxing.  But if that’s the best then I can’t really see doing any other way… [Read Amy's Answer…]

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Kegel Exerciser 101

by Amy on June 12, 2012

in Amy's Blog,Ask Amy

Red Asks:

I’m thirty-six with not much experience with toys. I like having sex, and can have a rollicking good time especially if I’m on top.

I can tell that my vj just isn’t up to it’s old tricks since having a baby, and time is not healing old wounds here. I just can’t grip like I used to!

So one night on the internet, I bought an Intensity by Jopen. The instructions were so lame for something touted to work miracles.

I’ve tried it out – and I really don’t understand what’s going on. I’m def not having any orgasms! is there a trick to this? And the vibrating part? what’s that supposed to do except be loud?

Thanks! [Read Amy's Answer…]

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Candy Coated Asks:

I love blow jobs! But hey who doesn’t?

So my question is this: what, in your opinion is the best tasting lube? or which company makes the tastiest?

The main complaint I get about flavored lubes is that they are WAY too sweet and taste like cough syrup.

I want to make my cock taste as good as it feels to have it sucked on.

Alternatively is there a way to flavor my penis? Like a lotion I can let soak into my member. Then I could truly turn it into lollipop!!! [Read Amy's Answer…]

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Jo Asks:

I’m a Female, Age 54, completed menopause a year ago. Have not been sexually active in 3 years.   Have met a wonderful, caring, patient man…sexual intercourse due to dryness is very difficult…but he doesn’t want me to use a lubricant, he wants the friction. Any ideas? [Read Amy's Answer…]

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Mark Asks:

I’m a tall, good looking, successful single guy living in the Santa Cruz area.   While I have no problem connecting with women, I have a cuckold fetish that gets in the way of long term relationships.  Specifically, seeing my significant other with Black men really, really turns me on.   Am I wrong  assuming this fetish is enjoyed mostly by white men or are more women becoming more comfortable with this kind of relationship?   [Read Amy's Answer…]

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