Will Anal Sex Cause Problems in the Future?

vicky asks:

dear amy
i am 25 year old married man. i want to ask you is non vaginal sex safe for my wife, or can it create some trouble for her in the future? Because during sex she said that it is very painfull for her. please give me the perfect advice to reduced her pain during non vaginal sex.

thank you

Dear Vicky-

I am not exactly sure what you mean by "non-vaginal" sex. If you are talking about anal sex, please see my past posts titled "Non-Vaginal Sex Options" and "Anal-Sex for Women". Anal sex should never feel painful for anyone involved. As I said in my past responses, anal sex requires a lot of time, communication, and lube (perhaps copious amounts of lube!). If your partner is experiencing pain at any point, you may need to slow down, add more lube, or stop what you are doing altogether.

Contrary to common belief, anal sex will not cause physical problems or permanent damage for the receiver. If fact, regular anal sex may even increase your sexual health and well-being by strengthening the pc muscles (and/or prostate in men). However, if you are having regular painful anal sex, then this certainly could lead to permanent tissue damage and/or various health problems in the future. As I said before, if your partner is experiencing pain, slow down, add lube, or stop what you are doing altogether.

For more information, check out "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristain Taormino, or her DVD,  "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Anal Sex".