Sex Toy Review: The Tenga Egg

I've been selling the Tenga Egg as a masturbation sleeve with the same old spiel for a few years now: textured sleeve for new sensations, comes with lube, super stretchy, disposable, yadda yadda yadda (I promise I sound a little more enthusiastic than that, but you get the point). However, thanks to a few recent playful endeavors, I now know this precious little egg has sooooo much more to offer than the average wanking device.

First of all, the Tenga Egg is made of a super-soft non-toxic material that makes me wish I had my own cock to stick in it. I kid you not; this is the first time a sex toy has given me penis envy. I get all tingly simply from stroking a freshly-opened and lubed Tenga Egg over my fingers... Imagine what this would feel like on my bits! Unfortunately, I have yet to come across my very own homegrown cock, so I will have to settle for living vicariously though my partner's Tenga experience.

Here's the Cliff Notes version on my Tenga porn scene: A little foreplay and it was Tenga Egg time. I cracked the egg, lubed up the sleeve, and started to stroke my partner. Upon first stroke of the soft, juicy sleeve, my partner displayed an abundance of blissful smiles and euphoric moans. I have a tendency to get off on other people's pleasure, so obviously I'm already loving this ;) To my surprise, the Tenga Egg was able to cover the entire shaft with each stroke. Every inch of my partner's bits could experience this heavenly rubdown! And because the sleeve is so thin, it was easy to grip/maneuver, almost as if nothing was even between the skin of my hand and that of my partner's member.

Rub, rub, rub. Add more lube. Smile. Moan. Wiggles and hip thrusts. Twists of the palm at the head. Stroking. More stroking. More twists. More moans, followed by "I'm coming"! And he comes right into the sleeve. I hold the egg there for a bit. I imagine this is similar to that moment after he's just come but is still inside my warm body. Kiss. Hug. Love. I get up to wash the sleeve, only to notice my hands are still clean and dry. I personally like my sex hot and messy, but for those of you who prefer clean sex, this is the toy for you. And the icing on the cake? The Tenga Eggis $8.95, so you can throw it out and start fresh the next time around without breaking the bank. Or you can do what I did and leave it in a safe place to dry and play again another day (note- the Tenga Egg is porous, and therefore not 100% sanitizable). Pure. Genius.

How's that for a sexy summary? Would it be wrong to refer my customers to this blog post whenever they ask, "Why would I need to buy that when I already have 2 hands for free?"? ;)