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New to masturbation

Posted by Amy Baldwin on

Myque asks:

Hi Amy. My friend is new to masturbating. She is very nervous about penetration, so she is mostly looking for things that stay outside of her body. She has a husband, but neither of them really have a lot of experience outside of standard sex. What would suggest for her?

Dear Myque:

Many women who are new to masturbating may want to take the time to get to know their bodies on a more personal level. The first thing I suggest is for your friend to use a hand mirror while squatting or sitting down in a comfortable position to get a better look at her genitalia. When she feels comfortable enough to proceed, she may want to explore this area with her fingers to see what feels good to her. Many women love clitoral stimulation during masturbation. However, many women also like the sensation of being touched all around the vulva.  Keep in mind that all women respond differently to various forms of sexual stimulation.

After your friend feels comfortable touching her body, she may want to experiment with sex toys. Because she is new to masturbation and hesitant about penetration, I would suggest starting with a friendly clitoral vibrator, such as the Laya Spot by Fun Factory, or any small vibrating bullet. The Laya is a great beginner vibrator because it has multiple speeds, so she can control the intensity of the vibrations. It is also designed to contour the body, so it can be used in many positions, including with a partner. This may also be a nice toy to include during lovemaking with her husband.  For further information, your friend may want to check out Jamye Waxman’s book, Getting Off:  A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation.


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