Non-vaginal sex options

October 28, 2009 2 min read

Want Your Suggestions asks:

Hi Amy,
I am a healthy 62 year old for whom vaginal sex has become just too painful. My gynecologist suggested that see a sex therapist for some ideas. I thought, in the meantime, that I would ask an educator. My husband (63) and I are open to anal sex as the next frontier, we are just inexperienced. I noticed some instructional DVDs listed on this topic. What are your suggestions?

Dear Want Your Suggestions,

All people experience changes in their sexual heath at some point or another, with hormone production and regulation being the primary reason for these changes. Before we tackle the topic of non-vaginal sex options, I want to make sure you are fully aware of your sexual capabilities. If you have not done so already, you may want to make an appointment with a doctor who does not emphasize Western medical practices. Many non-westernized doctors offer alternatives that work with changes in sexual health due to hormone production. I recommend taking a look at Dr. Yun-Ching Chen’s website at (or if you live in/near Santa Cruz, you can set up an appointment by calling (831)462-6013).

If you are still curious about other options beyond vaginal sex, please do not forget there are many ways to enjoy sex without actual penetration. “Outercourse” (also known as “dry-humping”), oral sex, and incorporating sex-toys into the bedroom are always good options. Anal sex can also be a very pleasurable experience for both partners. Some key tips for good anal sex are excellent communication, time and patience, and A LOT of lube. Anal sex is not something you can just jump in to. Your body must be mentally and physically prepared, which takes a great deal of time. Sex toys are great for anal foreplay, and can help to relax the anal sphincter muscle before penetration occurs. And, again, lube is absolutely a must in anal play!

I recommend checking out the DVD “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex”, or Tristan Taormino’s book, “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women”. Tristan is renowned for her expertise in anal play, so either way you will learn something helpful and new. And if you check out her DVD, you might also get something extra out of the hot sex scenes!

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.