How to Please Your Man

March 17, 2010 4 min read

seriously clueless asks:

Hi Amy,
My question is I am 35 years old, have have multiple partners over the years and I have had them always "looking out for me" and I havent had to "do" anything, I have become acustom to being spolied if you will, but just recently Ihave encountered a gentleman who I have actually wanted to participate with and please him so that we are both getting ours. My delimma is this I have no clue as to how to or what to do. Generally I am place in postions so I know those but to actually initiatie and then persorm for a guy, clueless. I am now looking into this because I want him to be my "first" and I want him to be satisfied with the results. I have never rode a guy, never given a bj, and my hand job skills can be improved. Something tastefull yet freaky.
I would appreciate it if you can offer tips as well as where I can go to get help. I need visuals and porn is not an option as I believe that is just fantasy and a way to make a chick try to wear herself out unnecessarily.

Thank You

Dear Seriously Clueless-

I wish I could have responded to your post sooner as we had the perfect class for you called "Blow Him Away: How to Please Your Man", taught by an amazing sex educator named Oh Megan. But because my response is a few days too late, I will try to give you a few pointers on the how-to's of male pleasure. Please note that it would take me hours upon hours to comment on many of the techniques involved in pleasuring a man, so in this post I am going to provide a few key ideas along with references for more in-depth information.

Your hands are generally the first things used to touch another person's body, so I will begin with hand job tips and tricks. In order to touch your partner the way they would like to be touched is to ask them what they like, and if you both feel comfortable enough to do so, ask them to physically show you/guide you along your hand job journey. You can put your hand on top of his as he strokes himself to get a feel for the type of movements and level of grip he uses when he pleasures himself. If you are not comfortable asking him for a personal tour, you can always dive right into playtime following a few basic guidelines. Try to build up his arousal before you even lay a finger on his cock. The art of seduction can go a long way in any sexual encounter, so you may want to try using your hands (or even your tongue, lips, or any other titillating objects you may have laying around) to touch, rub, massage, and/or tickle his body everywhere EXCEPT his cock to really get his engine going. Once you actually make a move for his hopefully very eager member, start with light touching/strokes to continue building up his excitement level. When you are ready to increase the pressure of your grip, keep in mind that most men respond to a firm level of pressure.

In terms of oral tips and tricks, continue your seduction by starting with light, teasing kisses and or licks before taking the entire cock in your mouth. Eye contact is often a huge turn-on during oral play, so try to look into his eyes as often as possible. Another key ingredient for a good blowjob (as well as all types of sexy playtime) is enthusiasm. Enthusiasm, enthusiasm, enthusiasm! I cannot emphasis the importance of your enthusiasm enough here. Whether you are simply rubbing his cock or riding him on top, if you look happy to be playing with him (or better yet, are happy to be playing with him), you are likely to blow his mind. Let him know how much you enjoy touching his body, fucking him, or sucking his cock. You can do this verbally (as simple as "I love sucking your cock") and non-verbally (eye contact, smiling, moaning and making "mmmmmm" noises as you blow him"). Also, keep in mind that the most sensitive part of his phallus is at the head of the penis, so while in no way should you neglect the rest of his member, try to focus most of your licking/kissing/tongue pressure in this area. Many men love having their testicles licked/sucked/tickled/touched, but because this is such a sensitive area, you may want to start with light touching or even just ask before you dive right in. And, as you probably already know, teeth are generally more painful and/or terrifying than anything else.

There are so many different techniques involved in pleasuring a man, and it is apparent in the fact that sex educators has written entire books of the topic of fellatio alone. For more in-depth information, check out "The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio" by Violet Blue. And while I know you may not be a big fan of porn, I still recommend checking out a sexy instructional video called "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Oral Sex: Fellatio". This DVD is tastefully done, and is directed by a woman (Tristan) primarily for female viewers.


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