Deep Throating 101

Too Eager asks:

Hey Amy

I am a gay 21 year-old student who is in a wonderful relationship with another man at my college. Our sex is really great and we love to play around. Lately I've been thinking that I really want to surprise my boyfriend by deepthroating him. Is that perhaps too much of a porn fantasy? A part of me feels that it might be overrated the same way large penises are. I mean, am I going to put in a lot of effort to learn how to do that and wind up disappointed?

If I do decided to learn how to do it, do you have any recommendations on how I can set about learning, safely?

Thank you

Hi Too Eager!

My name is Avi Answers. I'm Ask Amy's co-worker and co-sex educator, and I would love to answer your question!

Deep throating has definitely become popular by the porn industry, and there's a reason!  Not only is it visually appealing, but it also introduces new sensations to fellatio.  Like any sexual act, it may not be for everyone. However, if you find it hot and your partner does too, it's pretty likely that it will be a fun experience for the both of you.  Even if you can't complete the act, the fun of trying is sexy, and it shows your partner that your willing to try new things.

When attempting to deep throat, loosening up your throat beforehand is very important. Like other sexual acts, it's always good to prep your body before you stick a dick in there!  Here's a trick I learned: take a lollipop (I use a tootsie roll pop) and push it lightly toward the back of your mouth.  Gently, don't choke!  Poking the back of the throat loosens up your muscles and gets you used to something poking around back there. It may seem silly, but practice is always useful.  If you want to go further, try a banana or zucchini.  Again, silly, but helps your body loosen up.

Keep in mind that positioning is important.  Our mouths and our throats are perpendicular to each other when we are sitting, so it would be hard to slide anything in with complete ease.  A good position for deep throating goes like this: Lie on your back and have your partner enter your mouth from above your head facing towards your feet (you both make an L shape, where you are horizontal and he's vertical).  This upside down blow job may feel weird (your eyes will be at his balls), but it elongates your neck, creating a straight line. He also gets a great visual of your body, and if things go well, it's a great position to lead into some 69 playtime.

If that doesn't sound appealing, try your own positioning; just remember to elongate your throat to create an open passageway.

There are also some great media that can help you with techniques.  The book "The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio" by Violet Blue, as well as Tristan Taormino's DVD, “The Expert Guide to Fellatio" are both great resources for blowjob how-to’s.

Good luck, and remember to prep! If you have anymore questions, please ask!

-Avi Answers