The Club Vibe

June 15, 2010 4 min read

One of the perks of being the owner of a sex shop is the ability to take any toy for a test drive. So when planning my outfit for a Mad Hatter themed dance party, I decided the Club Vibewould be the perfect accessory to add a little pep in my step on the dance floor.

Quick product rundown: The Club Vibe is a wearable bullet that vibrates to the sounds in the room, including music, voices, and background noise. Wired to a controller that can be clipped onto your waistband, the Club Vibe can also be hooked up to your MP3 player, and even has a manual mode allowing you to choose from seven vibrating patterns. Sexy lace thong included!

My date with the Club Vibe started out over drinks with sexy play friends at my house. Post Blueberry Stoli cocktail #1, I slipped the Club Vibe into place between the cotton lining of my panties. I chose to rock my own chonies because even though the Club Vibe panties were almost a perfect fit, they were also a little too high-cut for my sparkly hot pants. Needless to say, the vibe slipped right into the lining and stayed in place while I practiced my dance moves on the living room floor.

Next came the placement of the remote control. Because my outfit was practically skintight, I decided to clip the remote to my bra right in between my cleavage for easy access. Add a flip of the switch into "Ambient Mode", and I was vibrating all over the place. In terms of noise level, my friends report hearing a slight buzzing when in the same room with the music turned down low. Nothing too noticeable...still quiet enough for a night out on the town. Upon discovering the location of the remote, my friends continued to speak directly into my cleavage, inducing intense clit-tastic vibrations (note-the remote is what picks up on sound to make the toy vibrate in "Ambient Mode").

A few blissful smiles, squirms and giggles later, and we were off to get down on the dance floor. Lucky for me, the DJ (who just so happens to be my ex-lover turned amazing best friend) loves to play anything with extreme bass, so my vibe was on turbo-rocket mode from the get-go. While most people probably assumed my constant euphoric grin was related to some enchanting drug, little did they know I had a my own special party going on in my pants. In fact, my joy was so transparent that my lady-play-partner-in-crime demanded we head on over to Pure Pleasure so she could purchase one for herself ASAP. 10 minutes later, we were walking back onto the dance floor hand-in-hand with matching euphoric grins.

The rest of the evening flew by, and I felt like the Energizer Sex Bunny. The Club Vibedid an amazing job keeping me electrified on the dance floor. In terms of the actual intensity of the vibrations, on a scale of 1 to 5 (with 5 being the strongest) the Club Vibe is a 3-3.5. Keep in mind I'm something of a Hitachi girl; I like strong vibrations, I generally want them in one precise place, and if the vibe is not in that exact place, I most likely will have a good time but I probably won't be exploding with orgasmic pleasure. So for me, the Club Vibe was more of a titillating toy, continuously adding fuel to my fire.

I will say that I probably had the best pickup line in the house: "Hi, my name is Amy. Talk into my breasts and put your hand here". A lean and a cope later, and I'd find myself replying, "No, the pleasure is all mine". This went over well with friends and acquaintances, but I'm not so sure about the two random brunettes in the alleyway behind the bar. In fact, I think I saw them reach for one another while backing away from us as if we were two orgasmic lepers. Time to remind myself the entire world is not so comfortable with my profession in the sex industry...

Some other highlights include a late-night bathroom mission with sexy-lady-friend to spice things up by wearing the vibe internally. Not really my cup of tea, but she preferred this over the external clit position. There was also plenty of leg grinding in order to share the gift of vibrations with our friends and lovers. I even recall dancing a little too close to the speakers in order to get the strongest vibrations possible. My ears are still ringing, but luckily I have been conditioned to associate the ringing with an aroused clit, just like Pavlov did with that dog and the bell...?

Needless to say, By the end of the night my vibe was still rocking on its 2 AAA batteries. Sexy after-party, here I come...


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