Anal Sex for Men

January 11, 2011 2 min read

Jack asks:

My wife wants me to experience anal sex. I am not gay but she loves me making love to her anally and wants me to know the experience. She has tongued me in that area (and I admit it feels good) but nothing penetrating. How do I start in accommodating my wife with the needed toys to (shall we say...and we will) break me in? Thank you for your facility and you assistance in this matter.

Dear Jack:

Congrats in your openness to try new things! First off, as you already know, everyone has a butt. It is the universal orifice, and with the exception to the prostate, your butt functions similar to that of your wife's. I am saying this because it is very likely that many of the things you do to prep and please your wife anally may work the same for you.

As I have said in previous posts, a few key ingredients for good anal sex is communication, lube, and plenty of time and patience (see my blog post titled "Anal Sex for Women"). Mouths, fingers and sex toys are also great prep options alongside these key ingredients. Start small and work your way up. This will help to gradually relax the sphincter muscle. Perhaps have your wife begin with one LUBED finger, and then two when you are ready. Then maybe even three, and/or a toy that is a bit smaller than the largest object you plan on using for anal sex (i.e., a dildo).

I recommend using a butt plug such as the Pro-Touch by Tantus. Again, use a lot of lube, and insert slowly. Once the plug is in, keep it in while you continue on with other forms of foreplay. Your muscles will relax further as you become more aroused. The Pro-Touch is also curved specifically for prostate stimulation, and has a vibrating option which may or may not be pleasurable to you.

If you and your wife are interested in using a dildo, I recommend a smooth dildo such as the Leisure by Tantus. Again, use plenty of lube, and be sure to communicate with your partner. Your wife can also wear the dildo in a harness, and that way she can have her hands available for other things ;) I recommend the Joque Harness by Spareparts. Not only is it extremely durable, it is also comfortable, easy to clean, and looks hot on practically all body types.

For more information on anal sex for men, check out Violet Blue's book, "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men".

Lastly, just a friendly reminder that your actions and behaviors are not what determines your sexual orientation (i.e. anal play does not make you gay).

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