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Lollie Answers: I'm TOO Big!

Posted by Lollie Pure Pleasure on

Inchworm Asks:

My girlfriend told me that she feels that I'm to big for her.  I suppose it should be a compliment but it isn't.  Its always been a problem in my life and I really want things to work out.  She says sometimes it hurts but sometimes it doesn't.  There's hope!  My question is:  Is there anything you would recommend to remedy our problem or any information the discusses this situation you could recommend?

Dear Inchworm:

My best advice for a situation like this is to focus on positioning. Certain positions can allow for deeper penetration, which may be what causes your partner discomfort. Other positions prevent very deep penetration, and these are the positions that you and your partner may want to focus on. Some positions I would suggest are girl on top, where she is laying down on you with her legs together. In this position, penetration is controlled more by her, and your entire shaft receives stimulation. You can also try having sex in the spooning position. This position also tends to limit penetration while allowing for stimulation all down the entire cock. There are plenty of other positions for you and your partner to try out, so I would suggest looking into a positions book, including Kama Sutra positions. We have one at the shop right now called The Bedside Kama Sutra that has great pictures of all the positions as well as descriptions of how to get into them.

Another thing to consider is arousal level. As a woman gets aroused, her uterus lifts, elongating her vaginal canal. If you take a long time to get your partner aroused, her vaginal canal will be able to accommodate more of your cock more comfortably. Take your time with her and your patience will pay off.

Good luck!

About Lollie: Lollie is a Pure Pleasure employee and educator, kink advocate, and a redhead with a personality to match.


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3 comments


  • Nice, so many good tips!
    Don’t forget to think outside of the box…there is butt sex, after all! But you don’t need an advice columnist to tell you that!
    I wonder about one of those condoms that have benzocaine inside? (They are meant help a man last a little longer by reducing his sensitivity. ) Putting it on inside out might help.
    Go forth and do long division!

    Miranda on

  • It’s both length and girth. The problem that is. I’ve been finding out a lot more from other sources. One issue I found to be a component is her vaginal viscosity. As it changes through her moon cycle her ability to accommodate cock and for how long changes. It’s clear to me now that the solution to our problem is a carefully crafted recipe involving foreplay, inspiration, positioning, patience, timing, and creativity.

    Brian on

  • He did not specify if he is too big in length (which you answered) or too big in girth, or both. The too big in length thing is probably more common, but there are definitely women for whom girth is a real issue.

    Michael A. Moran, PhD. on

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