This recently published (early 2013) text is a treasure replete with useful, practical, non-judgmental information about anal and prostate play specifically, and pleasure in general. Having gained increased attention in recent years, prostate pleasure is a topic many are curious to explore more. The Ultimate Guide covers the basics such as anatomy, orgasm, penetration, and hygiene, as well as touching on more nuanced subjects such as communication about prostate play, positions, massage, strap-on play, prostate health, and masculinity and anal play.
Glickman and Emirzian offer a number of useful tips and suggestions for the beginner or intermediate adventurer and his partner(s), in writing that reads easily and conveys warmth, humor, and encouragement. Further, they avoid the preachy absolutes, choosing rather to frame their suggestions and guidance in a sex-positive tone that encourages autonomy and choice, and engages the reader in exploring what works best for him/her/them. For example, in Chapter 13 (“Real Men Don’t”), they cite some reasons people shy away from anal and prostate play, such as messages received from society about what it means if a man enjoys anal play. Charlie Glickman then shares some cogent thoughts on masculinity, how it constructed in society, and why these constructions can be damaging to people of all genders. The chapter closes with a section title “It’s Up To You”, in which the authors note, “Whether or not you would like to explore your prostate is up to you. Ultimately, we respect each person’s ability to make this choice. But if you think that being penetrated makes a man less of a man, take some time to explore why you’re letting that get in the way of enjoying yourself. There are many ways to be a man, and prostate play fits right into that for a lot of men.” In another section, they touch upon a more general topic: expectations in the bedroom, and how they can be damaging. “High expectations are easily disappointed. If you are very attached to the idea of having [a specific reaction to some new technique] on your first try, there’s a good chance you will be dissatisfied and frustrated if it doesn’t happen. Being frustrated is not state of mind in which to experience pleasure.” (Chapter 6, “Searching for the ‘Magic Button’”)
Curious to read more? Want to share this with a friend who has confided in you that they are curious about exploring anal or prostate pleasure? Come in to Pure Pleasure and pick up a copy, and consider attending the authors’ workshop on November 19th, 2013.