Gina and Amy Answer: How to Get My Wife to Use Sex Toys

January 07, 2014 2 min read

Worried Hubby Asks:

My wife has never used sex toys to masturbate and has made trying new things a bit hard. Is there something I can do or help her with to begin using toys and actually have an orgasm with them?

Dear Worried Hubby:

Hmm, so your wife has never used toys to masturbate, and this has made things difficult for whom?  Before offering any tips on how to encourage your partner to open up to using toys, we are curious to first understand the following:  Is this an issue from your wife’s perspective?  Is she completely opposed to using sex toys, or just inexperienced? Are you hoping she will use toys on her own, or are you interested in exploring together? Your wife is entitled in deciding what is right for her body, and if this is the issue at hand, communication is really the only thing that will get you anywhere.  If you have not done so already, we'd first encourage a conversation between the two of you in hopes of a mutual understanding of what is happening here.

If you find she open to trying new things, we suggest making a trip as a couple to a female-friendly adult shop such as Pure Pleasure as part of a romantic, fun evening or afternoon together.  You could let her know that you are interested in exploring with toys, and ask her to join you in the selection process.  Once in the store, perhaps you could lead by example and choose something for yourself, and then invite her to check out toys for herself and see how she responds? Leading the horse to water, so to speak? Just keep in mind that if the horse does not wish to drink, perhaps engage the horse in a conversation as to why that is the case, while allowing a safe space for differing interests without judgment or expectations.

Hope this helps!

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