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Ari Answers: Best Gear for Gender Play

Posted by Ari Pure Pleasure on

J asks:

I'm a bigendered young adult who's looking for toys to assist with my dysphoria when in a male mindset. I've been given a recommendation to use the Tomboi harness, but i'm very inexperienced and have no idea what kind of gear to use with it. What would you recommend for solo use? I'd appreciate your help a lot, I'm rather lost.

Dear J:

The SpareParts Tomboi harness is great for all sorts of play. It’s made of comfy, breathable nylon and spandex and looks just like a pair of briefs. The rubber o-ring in front easily accommodates a range of toys and holds them securely in place. SpareParts has included a couple of features that make the Tomboi a great all-purpose harness: Mesh panels to keep your skin protected from chafing; Two well-placed pockets for bullet vibes, as well as an extra pocket for a condom/lube sample; Machine washable; Made in USA; Includes 1-year warranty.

When paired with a dildo, the Tomboi provides a pretty realistic simulacrum of an erect phallus pushed through underwear that’s great for solo or partnered play. If you’re in need of a dildo to go with the Tomboi, Vixskin makes high-quality silicone toys that look and feel incredibly real. If you’re looking for an option that’s a little more wallet-friendly, the Rookie from Pleasure Works is a great all-silicone dildo that won’t break the bank. 

The Tomboi is also great for packing as it includes an elastic strap inside the packing pocket (say that ten times fast!) which secures your packer all day without fear of slippage or discomfort. For packer options, check out the Sailor 1 from Pleasure Works. The super silky Softskin is a dead ringer for a flaccid penis! 

Hope this helps! 

About Ari: Ari is a long-time member and organizer in the Santa Cruz kink and polyamorous communities. Her love of fostering communication and knowledge led her to join the Pure Pleasure team in 2011 where she shares her passion for promoting fulfilling sex-lives for all. She's a bit of a geek and is always happy to enthuse about the latest in high-tech sex toys.


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