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Threesome How-To's

Posted by Amy Baldwin on

JJ123 asks:

In my late thirties and have a great opportunity for a two girl threesome. The women live in another state, met one in Tahoe and the other one is a complete stranger. Both are in their fourties and very attractive. What are the dos and donts? I am meeting them in a week and can't sit still!

Dear JJ123,

When it comes to threesomes (or almost any sexual act involving more than one person), communication is key. It is important to discuss each party’s comfort levels, concerns, and needs, and maybe even set a few ground rules BEFORE jumping into a threesome. This is especially helpful when one or more people are unfamiliar with each other. For example, perhaps you will want to discuss whether or not you will choose to use some sort of protection, and if so, what will it be. Or maybe you will want to disclose your intentions, including what kind of sex you are looking (or not looking) to have. You will find that almost everyone has boundaries, and these need to be discussed beforehand in order to avoid awkward moments or hurt feelings.

One way to ease the initiation of the pre-threesome talk is to approach it as a sexy, flirtatious conversation. Sit down in an inviting, comfortable atmosphere with all of the intended parties and get to know each other. Ask your partners what are their likes and dislikes, and how they will let you know if something crosses their boundaries.

Also keep in mind that communication does not end as soon as things get hot and heavy. Continue to express yourself during playtime, and encourage your partners to do the same. It may also be beneficial to discuss any final thoughts about the “Menage a Trois” post playtime as well. That way all parties can leave without any unfinished business that may reappear the next time around.

Threesomes can be tricky business, as well as a fantastic time. For more information, check out Opening Up by Tristan Taormino, as well as The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt. These ladies really know their stuff!


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