First Time Toy User Asks:
My friend and I recently started hooking up with other couples and the most recent couple we met up with had toys. That night I experienced the hitachi magic wand and a strap on dildo that was much too big for me, so it only got in a little past the head. Right after the sex I was left feeling very sore down there, and I figured that had to be normal. But now it’s been 2 days and I'm still in some pain. Is this normal?
Dear First Time Toy User:
Ouchies!! That does not sound pleasant. I hope that things have since improved in your nether regions! I would say that pain lasting for 2 days is not normal. Or rather, it is normal for a vagina that has been traumatized by a too-large toy or a baby passing through on its way into the world, but not the kind of normal that one wants to experience on a regular basis. In the present, if you are still in some pain and have not seen a health care practitioner, I would recommend doing so, just to have your parts examined carefully to be sure that the wounds are not harboring any infection. In the future, remember that stretching the vaginal canal beyond capacity is something that the vagina is designed to do, but it is still traumatic and is generally reserved for events such as giving birth, not playing with toys! :) Take it easy next time and use adequate lubrication if wanting to try out a toy that is larger than you are used to.
Finally, I want to confirm that all of this was completely consensual. If a partner is ever encouraging you to go beyond your limits, please stop them. Nobody but you knows how your body feels or what it wants. Some people have skewed notions of what is respectful play with women’s body parts, quite possibly due to scenes that they have witnessed in porn. If this was at all a factor that night, please remind all parties involved that porn sex and the acts performed in porn are performed by pros, and there is a lot of off-camera prep that makes those scenes possible. Not saying that this was the issue, but it is important to acknowledge that it is a possibility.
Play safe. Have fun.
About Gina: Gina has been working in reproductive health for nearly 20 years as an educator and researcher. She approached Pure Pleasure in 2009 about holding a focus group for a research project she was working on and was impressed with Janis and Amy’s welcoming, sex-positive business and their commitment to community involvement and education. Shortly thereafter, Gina began working with Pure Pleasure part-time as a Pleasure Party Educator and staff member and is currently pursuing a Master’s in Human Sexuality Education. Also a parent of two boys, she is committed to sex-positive parenting.