I am in a lesbian relationship and when my partner uses dildo inside me I feel a sore burning pain. She would like to buy a strap on vibrating dildo and lubes - but can you please recommend one that would not cause me the burning pain. I think I would need free of chemicals etc.
The burning pain you are experiencing may be caused by the materials used in the manufacturing process of that particular dildo. Unfortunately, the FDA does not regulate the sex toy industry, so a large majority of the toys on the market are being manufactured with plasticizers (called phthalates) that can give off toxins. This includes many of the toys that are made out of a soft rubber-jelly material.
In terms of finding a body-safe dildo, all of the items on our website are considered non-toxic and phthalate-free. Most of our dildos are made out of non-toxic, non-porous silicone, and many of them come with a flanged base making them perfect for harness play. If you are looking for a vibrating option, I recommend trying out the Leisure dildo by Tantus. Its sleek design makes it a great for both vaginal and anal play, and it is also harness compatible.
The burning pain you are experiencing may also be related to the type of lubricant you are using. Many lubes consist of a number of not-so-body-friendly ingredients. Also, many people experience unpleasant reactions to even the safest of ingredients, so you will want to find a lubricant that works well for you. While many people report good experiences with silicone lube (because it is not immediately absorbed by the skin), I do not recommend using silicone lube with silicone sex toys as it has been found to break the toys down over time. Instead, I recommend trying an all-natural/organic water-based lubricant, such as YES Water-Based or Lubricant Pure by Hathor Aphrodesia. If you are not using latex barriers* and are looking for something that will hydrate the skin longer than water-based lube, you may also want to try out the YES Oil-Based lubricant.
Also, keep in mind that age can play a significant role in any discomfort with vaginal stimulation. Most women experience a thinning of the vaginal tissue during menopause, which can make any sort of penetration painful and/or uncomfortable. If this is the case for you, I recommend using the oil-based lube for maximum hydration, and you can also find new ways to play that won’t harm the delicate tissue of the vaginal walls.
Lastly, the size and/or shape of this dildo you are using may also be the culprit in this burning sensation. Try using a smaller sex toy, or even one with a smoother texture/shape (most of this dildos on our website should include dimension info). If you would like to be able to use a large sex toy, but do not feel your body is physically ready for it, you can always start small and work your way up. The Oasis Intimates line is a great option for this as it offers 3 different sized vibrators to help with enhancing vaginal comfort for greater sexual enjoyment.
For more information on sex toy how-to's, check out The Ultimate Guide to Orgasms for Women
*products containing oils have been found to break down latex materials.