Vaginal Dryness

Delicious asks:

I have not been sexually active in 3 years. Recently I have been sexually active and I am experiencing a serious dryness in my vagina. I have never experienced this in my life. I am only 37 years of age. What do you recommend?

Dear Delicious:

Vaginal dryness is a common issue for women of all ages, and the amount of sex you are having should not play a huge role in the quantity of natural lubrication your body produces. It is true that vaginal lubrication is often related to arousal, but just because someone isn’t “wet” during playtime does not mean they are not aroused. The amount of natural lubrication our bodies produce is primarily associated with our hormones. This includes where we are in our menstrual cycle, our estrogen levels, etc. For example, women who are going through menopause produce a lower amount of estrogen, and therefore often experience vaginal dryness as a result. Please keep in mind menopause generally happens anywhere from the early/mid 40's to early/mid 50's, so this most likely does not apply to you at this time. However, if you haven’t done so already, you may want to consider whether you’ve experienced this level of dryness during different times in your cycle, or if this something that only happens to you once in a while (when your estrogen level is lowest).

With that said, I recommend using a lubricant to make your playtime the fun, pleasurable experience you deserve. If you like, you can even apply lubricant before playtime if your not into 'stopping in the heat of the moment'. There are even lubes that come in applicators to easy the process. In terms of what kind of lube to use, well, that is entirely up to you. Water-based lubes, such as Liquid Silk, are the most common lube and are compatible with both latex and polyurethane condoms. They also work well with most sex toys including those made out of silicone. Water-based lube can be absorbed by skin, so reapplying may be necessary as it does not last as long as silicone-based lube (quick tip: instead of reapplying more lube, just add a few drops of water to rehydrate/reactivate the lube).

Silicone lube generally contains only a few ingredients, mainly silicone, and is well-liked because it stays super slick and is not absorbed by the skin, therefore last a long time. Many people who are prone to skin irritations from water-based lube swear by silicone because it stays on the skin's surface, decreasing the likelihood of irritation.  One thing to note about silicone-based lubes is they should not be used with silicone toys because they tend to cause wear (kind of like taking sandpaper to your sex toy). Also, because silicone lube is no absorbed by the skin, you will have to wash it off. Pjur Eros Bodyglide is a Pure Pleasure favorite!

Oil-based lubes tend to be a bit thicker and last longer than water-based lube, but will eventually be absorbed by the skin. To ensure a safe sexual experience, oil-based lubes should not be used with latex condoms because they tend to break them down. If you want to use an oil-based lube, check out another Pure Pleasure favorite, the certified-organic Yes lube.

Lastly, some other things that may affect the amount of vaginal you are producing is any drugs or medications you are taking, as well as certain medical conditions (i.e. diabetes).  Hope this helps!